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We've been friends for over two decades, who has overcome many challenges, and I respect her for that. Yet, she's repeatedly caught off guard in relationships. Her partner ended their marriage, which came as a huge shock. Many of close acquaintances drifted away at that point, since they had been focused solely on the spouse. She was stunned by her deeply. She put in more effort toward our bond, and must have realised more acutely the essence of true friendship.

A Recurring Theme of Disappearance

In the time since, many close to her have disappeared leaving her certain of the reason. Her previous job suddenly changed toward her, even though she was highly competent, and she left without knowing why things shifted.

Current Dynamics

In recent times, we've both left the workforce leading to more frequent meetups, but I am finding the part I play in the relationship is as the audience. I open topics of conversation but she shifts them to things she cares about. In terms of politics, she has strong opinions. I try to recommend verifying facts or other angles.

She's been planning a holiday abroad I've visited repeatedly and lived in for some time. My intention was to share insights, yet it was met with resistance. She essentially solely sought my agreement with her choices. I've just ended a month in that country and she wants to reconnect, however, I hesitate.

Weighing the Options

I am unwilling to act as a friend who abandons suddenly without a word, but I don't think she can understand the consequences of her behaviour on how I feel about myself. Right now, I find myself in distancing myself. How should I proceed?

Possible Paths

It's possible to cut and run, but it is rarely the peaceful resolution we hope for. Yet having a direct talk with a view to working things out takes courage and willingness on both your parts.

Professional advice indicates applying a effective method for resolving disputes:

"Step one requires explaining how things go during your discussions. It should be based on facts and essentially exactly what occurs. Next involves sharing the way it leaves you feeling. This allows for no dispute on this point. What you feel are valid, after all. Finally involves requesting how you are both going to change the interaction in your relationship."

Remember your friend has a point of view, meaning you must to stay open to hear that. One effective method involves stating her:

"It's your turn to speak and I promise to not say anything for half an hour."

This can be effective in fostering better communication.

Closing Considerations

Your friend may dismiss everything, since certain individuals hold onto a “survival narrative”: they have a version regarding their experiences they're unable to let go of because their very survival relies on it and it's all they trust. It's tough because there's no easy route in such cases, mere obstacles. But she may at first react defensively then consider on your words. If you don't achieve an agreement, you'll have peace knowing you were truthful.